On a recent road trip, I listened to the (audio)book "Happiness Advantage", by Shawn Achor. It's chock full of fascinating psychological study results, not to mention practical suggestions for how to be happy based on numerous studies and the author's own research. Given the sheer number of books on positive psychology, it might be presumptuous to call this the best book ever written on happiness (notwithstanding the Good Book), and I don't want to sound like a shill for the book. However, I did find it helpful, so I'll provide a summary for those who are interested:
Happiness is hard to define--experts tend to identify it as having components of pleasure, engagement and meaning, but even this is an oversimplification. While happiness is not something we can pursue directly, there ARE some practical things we can do to greatly increase our likelihood of being happy, according to the author. These include exercise, journaling, meditation, lifelong learning and most importantly, scheduling time each and every day
(a) to recount three good things that we feel glad or happy about in the last 24 hours
(b) to plan a "random act of kindness" or even a word of praise or encouragement for someone else
(c) to plan to do something to help maintain and preserve good relationships with our family, friends and co-workers
Sadly, as the author admits, most people will nod their heads in agreement, will consider this good, practical common sense, but will nevertheless fail to follow through on this advice in their own personal lives.
These recommendations are strictly based on psychological study results as well as the author's own research. Being a Christian, I tend to see these recommendations as an echo of some of the exhortations of Jesus, who was "anointed with the oil of gladness above his fellows," and who said "it is more blessed to give than to receive", "love one another as I have loved you" and so on. If you are not a Christian, you can still prove for yourself whether or not these recommendations work in your own life. I personally believe for myself that they are even more potent in the context of my Christian faith. In any case, if this is not put into practice, it becomes useless either way.
Some other conclusions from the book:
1) "Success" is the result of "happiness", not the other way around. This simple concept has been demonstrated time and time again by numerous psychological studies and the latest research.
2) Average levels of happiness have surprisingly limited correlation to our wealth, status, geographic location, culture, race, and most other factors over which we have little control. "90% of your long-term happiness is predicted not by the external world, but by the way your brain processes the world."
3) Numerous psychological studies demonstrate the critical nature of perceptions, and the huge effect they can have on us. What we tell ourselves and what others tell us--even the language used--can shape these perceptions. These perceptions, in turn, have a critically-important effect on the direction of our lives, and can prime us for success or failure. (It is difficult to convey just how subtle and yet how dramatic this effect can be without describing some of the amazing psychological study results cited in the book.) Also, while brain plasticity is well documented, our messages to ourselves and others must convey the belief that we (and they) are truly capable of learning and improving in whatever we endeavor to do. As evidenced also by the placebo effect, we tend to greatly underestimate the power of our beliefs and perceptions.
4) The "tetris effect" describes how our state of mind, mental habits and perceptions can alter our experience of the actual world--i.e., what information we consciously identify and what information our brain automatically filters out as unimportant. In this way, two people may have very different experiences even as they are exposed to identical physical environments. “...what we’re finding is that it’s not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. If we can change the lens, not only can we change your happiness, but we can change every single educational and business outcome at the same time.”
5) Married people tend to be happier than single people. For a marriage (or a business team) to work, there need to be at least 5 positive remarks for each negative remark. Loners and introspective people tend to be the most unhappy, as are people who use the word "I" a lot (versus "we"). People under stress sometimes withdraw from their support network of family and friends just when they need them the most. Good social relationships are essential to happiness.
5) Married people tend to be happier than single people. For a marriage (or a business team) to work, there need to be at least 5 positive remarks for each negative remark. Loners and introspective people tend to be the most unhappy, as are people who use the word "I" a lot (versus "we"). People under stress sometimes withdraw from their support network of family and friends just when they need them the most. Good social relationships are essential to happiness.
6) Our mood--even a simple smile--can have far reaching consequences to those around us and can be re-transmitted far beyond even those people. So can the presence of stress and irritability. Often, the subtle perceptions gleaned from a manager's words and conduct at a meeting can have a profound effect on the mood, stress level, self-confidence and emotional well-being of his entire organization, without him or her even realizing it.
8) Use the 20 second rule to help you develop good habits: We all have a lazy streak--tasks that take more than 20 seconds to get started on tend not to get done, and vice versa. To encourage a particular habit, make it easy to initiate that activity--for example, if you want to learn how to play guitar, put the guitar in a convenient place in your living room where you can easily pick it up without dragging it up from the basement, taking it out of the case, tuning it, finding your music, etc. On the other hand, to discourage a bad habit such as repeatedly checking your e-mail, make it intentionally a little less convenient (i.e., requiring more than 20 seconds) to fire up your e-mail program, enter your password, etc.. This may be all it takes to make a huge difference in your daily habits.
This Tedx video doesn't substitute for the book, but it gives a taste of the author's message, if you are interested. Another interesting Ted Presentation by Nancy Etcoff provides some interesting statistics that further shows why happiness is a pertinent subject that needs to be better understood. And of course, this video reminds us of what we can learn from a dog.
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